THE SACRED TOME · SECOND EDITION
Anubism
The Revelation of the One True Dog God
Second edition: the pages have almost tripled, thanks to the Prophet's enormous quantities of rum meditation. This time the Tome is split into verses like a real Bible, and there's a hardcover too.
«This guy is out of his mind. Or maybe too much in it. I don't get it, but it made me laugh more than once. Overall a recommended read.»
Italian edition
What's new, apart from the rum
Dear adept, the first edition in 2023 had 136 pages. Then the Prophet withdrew into deep drinking meditation and 400 came out. This time we went all in: the Tome is split into numbered chapters and verses like a real Bible, so when you argue doctrine at the bar you can quote chapter and verse like the serious ones do. And for those who keep it on the altar, there's a hardcover.
- Pages almost tripled: from 136 to 400, through sheer meditation
- Numbered chapters and verses, like a real Bible
- For the first time, in hardcover too
«Whoever is behind this project must have overdone it with some substance... if only there were more crazies like this!»
Three editions, one Tome
Inside it's the same Tome, verse for verse: only the binding changes, and how good you look giving it.
Fair warning: the Sacred Tome speaks Italian. Anubis revealed himself in Italian, mostly because it's the only language the Prophet knows. An English edition is on his list, somewhere between sobering up and getting round to it. Meanwhile the eight Fundamentals are on this site, in English, for free.
Paperback
The battle Tome
400 pages · 14 × 21.6 cm · softcover
For actually reading it: it lives on the nightstand and holds up fine in the bathroom.
16,99 €
Buy on AmazonItalian edition
Deluxe hardcover
The altar Tome
352 pages · 17.8 × 25.4 cm · black leather-effect hardcover, gold Egyptian frame
For giving it and looking good. Black and gold, it suits an altar or a shelf.
45,00 €
Buy on AmazonItalian edition
Kindle
The Tome that weighs nothing
Ebook · resizable text
For reading on a Kindle, phone or tablet, when the bookshelf is already full.
4,99 €
Buy on AmazonItalian edition
«Perfect gift for friends, along with a slingshot and some plastic animals to launch. Have you thought about a bundle?»
What it's about, for newcomers
Anubism was born in 2012 around Anubis, the dog god of ancient Egypt, and this is its Sacred Tome: the four precepts, the parables, the prayers and the formula that governs an adept's life, fun minus ballbusting.
The satire hits whoever's reading it first, and only then the rest of the world. The Prophet included.
«I read the Sacred Tome after reading the Prophet's blog and I must say I found both enlightening: now I pet the ears of every dog I see.»
Four precepts, only one mandatory
Adore Anubis, don't bust the sacred spheres, listen, shun ignorance. Only the second is mandatory, and that alone is enough to change a work meeting or a family dinner.
The formula of Anubist life
AQL = AF minus BB. Anubistic Quality of Life is the sum of your Anubistic Fun, minus the ballbusting. The book applies it to everything, from the residents' meeting to the traffic jam on the ring road, and whoever reads it starts doing the maths.
Ears up, always
Those who keep their ears up laugh at the world, and at themselves first. Those who keep them down repeat the evening news: that's the Dim Soul, and the book treats him kindly, because we've all been one at least once.
How to use the Sacred Tome, instructions from the enlightened Prophet
Dear adept, the Sacred Tome isn't read from the beginning: you open it anywhere. A chapter lasts as long as a queue at the post office. If you nod off halfway through, the Prophet understands. May Anubis be with you.
«A very smooth read that allows even a newcomer to fully immerse themselves in what should become a cult classic! Highly recommended especially for the 'Dim Souls'.»
Inside the Tome
Compared with the blog there is no different content: the book holds a selection of the best chapters, laid out with a whole lot of rum love.
Sample images: the layout may vary slightly.
"This section should aim to convince the visitor to buy the book, however the Prophet has no interest in convincing you to buy anything. He was struck by the revelation of Anubis, the Great Dog God, and is only interested in spreading the Anubistic Word."
— The Prophet
What the Adepts
Millions of people already invoke the Dog God daily. Especially in Veneto.
Book details
📖
400 paperback / 352 Deluxe
Pages
🇮🇹
Italian
Language
📅
Second, 2026
Edition
✍️
The Prophet
Author
The Prophet blesses those who give it, and slightly less those who lend it
Dear crazy devoted adept, the Prophet wrote these pages between one glass of rum and the next, and the rum ran out before the pages did. Keep it on your nightstand and give it to someone who needs it more than you do. May Anubis guide you towards subtraction.
«I can no longer see a dog without thinking of Anubis. Ears up!!!»