Hey there, dear adept...
Make yourself comfortable, but not too close because today the Rum has been particularly inspiring and I wouldn't want to breathe too much truth on you.
Listen, let's keep it short: we're here, in this "delirious dump" called the world, only because of a random meeting of cells destined to end up as fertilizer for the neighbor's flowers. It's not pessimism, it's that the worms are already setting the table and I wouldn't want you to arrive at the banquet without having accomplished anything.
Since time is the only thing that Clan of Statists can't (yet) reimburse you, let's see if today you lived or if you were just an extra in a bad TV series.
The Balance of the Bet
Life is a blind bet, and since there's nothing to understand, the only thing that matters is your QVA (Quality of Anubistic Life). The equation is simple, almost like me after the third grappa with Santa Claus:
QVA = AF - PIA
AF (Anubistic Fun): These are your moments of glory. When you play your bagpipe, see a flying donkey and don't call the doctor, or enjoy a happy chicken in peace. It's the magic that stays in your pocket when the system tries to devalue even your soul.
PIA (Pains In the Ass): All the time you wasted feeding parasites, listening to the barking of some Dim Soul on TV, or enduring a Beast who wanted to explain how to live. In short: anyone who has trampled on the Second Precept: "Don't be a pain in the ass".
Warning
Good news: no email required to get your result. Bad news: You might not like the result (not that Anubis cares)