Anubistic Greetings 2025: the Prophet's Tree and the Paradox of “Stupid” Traffic Lights
The other afternoon the Prophet set about decorating his big Christmas tree. Between Anubistic adorations and thoughts on stupid traffic lights...
by The Prophet — 2026-01-15
1 The other afternoon the doddering old fool Prophet set about decorating his big Christmas tree.
2 Naturally he let fly some very intense Anubistic adorations, on account of several broken “balls” and a tangle of garlands.
3 He was thinking about the year drawing to a close and what it would be remembered for.
2025 and the miracle of AI
4 In the end it occurred to him that perhaps what would most define this 2025 was that “technological miracle” that AI seems to be.
5 Technology can amaze us, sometimes unsettle us, but it remains wonderful all the same.
6 True, there is always the “usual suspect” who turns it against us but, for our own use, it is always a great added value.
Why are traffic lights still stupid?
7 Everything, in every field, has evolved; everyone is chasing maximum efficiency and productivity, yet when we reach an empty junction — not so much as a rat crawling out of a drain for a kilometre around — we stop.
8 We stop and waste time and fuel, and pollute, for almost a minute, for no reason at all.
9 “Because the traffic light is only a symbol.
10 The perfect symbol of power that does not reason, but commands.
11 And if you reason, if you decide to go when it is safe… the system punishes you.”
A hundred years of (wasted) technology
12 Given that the first traffic lights in Italy date, for certain, to 1925, why are they exactly the same a hundred years on?
13 We have put technology to remarkable use for checks designed to “fine” drivers: ZTL camera gates, T-Red red-light cameras, speed cameras, Targa System plate readers...
14 A heap of technology and billions opaquely “invested” by the state for one purpose and one purpose only: robbing drivers.
The crank handle and the thieving State
15 But what is the one technological application that could cut traffic, stress and pollution all at once? Exactly: a fucking “smart” traffic light, even one built with fifty-year-old technology!
16 So why, when it comes to traffic lights, are we still “turning the crank”?
17 The Prophet's reflections were cut short when his little glass of Havana rum tipped over onto his packet of Dunhills, prompting the appropriate intense Anubistic adorations.
18 A happy new year to you all, sadly already heavily taxed, and an invitation to reflect on the pointless standing still in front of a red light, symbol of power that does not reason.
19 May Anubis be with you and your loved ones.
20 The Prophet