The Anubistic Religion

Dog-Godhood manifests itself in three hypostases (*): Anubis, the Dog God, Hesat, the Cow God, and Seth, the Pig God. Much research has gone into...

by The Prophet — 2026-01-15

Dog-Godhood manifests itself in three hypostases (*): Anubis, the Dog God, Hesat, the Cow God, and Seth, the Pig God.

Much research has gone into the breed of Anubis; he appears to closely resemble the Xoloitzcuintli, the difficult name of a beautiful Mexican breed.

Some research cites the Dobermann Pinscher, but historically the likeliest is the breed known as the Cirneco dell'Etna, brought to Sicily by the Phoenicians around 1000 BC.

The mother hypostasis of Anubis is Hesat, the Goddess with the head of a cow, also called the Cow God.

The uncle hypostasis of Anubis is the great Seth. He was depicted as a human with the head of an aardvark.

The aardvark takes its name from Afrikaans, where it means “earth pig”. Which is why we may quite correctly call him “Pig God”, or “God the Pig”.

Mythological language presents them as Son, Mother and Uncle respectively, but the adept must not fall into the anthropomorphic error of assigning human genealogy to the divine.

Then again, demanding to understand how a mother can simultaneously be a manifestation of her son is a very human demand, made by creatures convinced that the divine ought to comply with civil law.

The divine trinity therefore consists of the Mother, the Son and the Puncle.

During his journey to Tibet, Anubis stopped for a while in India, where we find manifestations of his Trinity.

Anubism is a monotheistic religion, or rather a monodogtheistic one, holding Anubis to be the one true Dog God. If you find it contradictory that Anubis should be one and three at once, plenty of people have been saying it with a straight face for a very long time.

It is certainly not a pantheistic religion, since Anubis is not everywhere and is not in all things: Anubis minds his own business and stays wherever the fuck he likes.

Unfortunately the meaning of the Dog God was poorly grasped by scholars of Egyptian culture. Anubis is not the guardian of the dead, he is the guardian against brain death. He protects the mind from dying inside precepts, inside the commandments of the superstitions and inside ideological conditioning.

Anubis is a protective and liberating Dog God. Realising that God is a Dog and that he is Anubis can resurrect even the deadest of minds, so the only true Anubistic miracle is the lighting up of the ignorant.

All humans are born equal, with an equal dick for a head; once their mind is lit by Dog-Godhood, it falls prey to neither superstitions nor ideologies.

Every human carries the embryo of the idea inside his dickhead, but only the prayer of Anubis forms it maieutically, letting the human turn his dick of a head into a free human head.

In infinite freedom the human mind becomes “capable” of speech and takes up that high Nietzschean vantage point from which it can no longer make out the barking of the dickheaded human.

One of the important moments on the road to enlightenment is when you switch on the television and find yourself exclaiming: “Why are they barking?”

The good Anubist, to be precise, exclaims: “But Dog God, but why are they barking?” (a little worship never goes amiss… and neither does the second “but”. The Anubist is fond of the adversative.)

Many of these principles have a parallel in gnosticism, an enlightened Christian current that developed in the years just after Christ but which, in the absence of Anubis, never met with great success, not least because its followers were famously slaughtered by other good Christians in the power struggle over the Christ brand.

Buddhism, on the other hand, is perhaps the philosophy that came closest to the “truth” of the Dog God, thanks to the well-known residence of Anubis in Tibet.

Blasphemy as the superstitions conceive it does not exist in Anubism: Anubis minds his own business, so the human may mind his own business too and insult Anubis all he likes, provided he doesn't bust his balls.

Women have always been discriminated against in every religious superstition. In Islam they are often subordinate; in Catholicism they have frequently been associated with sin, temptation or outright witchcraft; and in traditional Buddhism full religious parity was denied for a very long time.

Unfortunately in Buddhism too, when it comes to equal standing, karma appears to have a curious soft spot for men.

A thought is called for: do these gods exist and are they all cuckolded divorcees turned misogynist, or is it rather that, the inventors of religions being men, they invented religions designed to keep women under control?

How can anyone think that a God who judges women inferior exists?

What sort of God judges by sex?

Some say that “ancestral cultural reasons” shaped the development of religions too.

Which further demonstrates how false the superstitions are, because it amounts to admitting that the so-called “religions” were made by humans, and so implicitly cancels their metaphysical meaning. (Anubism was made by humans as well, but Anubism admits it and the others don't.)

Fortunately the time of the True God has come: Anubis, the Dog God, the one true God who does not discriminate by sex.

Anubis is the only God who doesn't give a fuck whether you are a man or a woman; to Anubis you are equally nothing.

(*) Hypostasis. From the Greek hypóstasis (“that which stands beneath”). In the Neoplatonic philosophy of Plotinus, the hypostases are the manifestations of the One: from the One there necessarily emanate the Intellect and the Soul, without the One losing its unity. Anubism uses the word in that sense.

Plotinus held that the whole of reality necessarily emanates from the One. Anubism agrees, with one clarification: Anubis does not emanate the world out of love or goodness.

He simply carries on minding his own business. If an excess of his Dog-Godhood happens to produce a universe as well, that is the universe's problem, not his.